The side effects of immigration – we discuss personal experience!

The side effects of immigration – we discuss personal experience!

The side effects of immigration – we discuss personal experience!
I stumbled across the network to the article of a girl who wrote about the difficulties that arose after moving to another country.
Read and agree or disprove. And also, if it’s easy, describe the difficulties that arose with you or your friends, after moving to Italy (or other countries).
& quot; To organize your new life away from home, away from everything that you knew and believed in, is the most incredible feeling you can ever experience.
People who have gone abroad, probably already nod in agreement.
They will tell you that travel and emigration expand the horizons that they have made them more open people. And that alone matters in life.
But they will not tell you that emigration is also loneliness, and alienation, and panic attacks, and guilt.
An emigrant tale does not exist. Here are five things that will necessarily happen in your life, if you ever decide to leave your house and run after a dream.
1. Your loved ones will be devastated.
Regardless of how often and how much you will embellish your new life, they will be devastated. Departure abroad is a very, very selfish choice.
It’s great that you live your dream, and that you have the spirit to start living the way you think, as you always wanted. But at the same time you have made unhappy people who love you.
Even if your amazing family and your amazing friends have blessed you, they are still experiencing it. Why do not you know about this? Because they did everything to hide these feelings from you.
They do not want to burden you with their doubts and fears. They do not want you there, on the new earth, to ask yourself the question: “What am I doing here at all?”. They all say only one thing: “If you’re happy, so will we!”
My parents did an impressive job on themselves. The first time I just decided to escape from Los Angeles, they were at a loss. But then I was too busy with myself to pay attention to their pain. But the day they saw me off at the airport, I saw in their eyes such sadness that I had never seen before.
During our last good-bye, I looked back. And I saw fragile people who look 10 years older than their age.
My adventure is their grief.
2. You will feel guilty. All the time.
Two months after I left Los Angeles, my best friend got a terrible diagnosis: cancer.
I tried to be near her in the phone mode. I wrote to him by e-mail. But all the same I knew: in fact he does not need my words, but my friendly shoulder. Which is not, because I fell down.
When my 80-year-old grandmother rolled down the stairs and called me from the hospital, she was sad and lonely. “When will you come to visit me, dear?” she asked. I did not know what to say to her.
In those few years that I was not at home, I missed almost all the weddings of my friends. All birthdays. The appearance of children. All the best events in the life of their best friends.
And every time I had to justify myself, because I was invited to visit, and I could not come. When you are on the other side of the globe, you usually do not have time and money to go to parties of old friends. But this is the social choice you made yourself!
A friend’s wedding is, perhaps, not so important, but what about the 60th birthday of your father? What about the graduation ceremony for your younger sister? What choice do you make between these two events? After all, you probably will not have time for money to visit both there and there.
Even if you know that your life is your life, and continue to hope that your loved ones will understand you, you will often feel like a terrible, terrible person. Over time it goes away, but I’m afraid it will take more years than you think.
3. You will feel very, very lonely.
I was always lucky: I almost always found myself with the company of many wonderful people. I’ve never had a problem with making new acquaintances. I easily find friends in any new city.
Nevertheless, although rarely somewhere was alone, periodically I become so lonely as I have never been before moving.
I will never forget my first Christmas, met with a roommate in exile. We both felt as if we had no family, no gender, no tribe.
The following year I spent this holiday in the company of a foreign family. And something tells me that there I was invited out of pity: just so that I was not alone in such a holiday.
To build trust with anyone, it takes time. So when you are going to go abroad, then remember: you will inevitably have to spend a lot more time than you think, in order that you have new true friends. And a few years in a row you will not have anyone to share your memories or stories about yourself.
It’s like going to study in a new school for yourself after moving with your parents. Only it is more difficult: because mum and daddy too are not near to you.
4. You will never become local.
Living abroad will change you. You will give up many old beliefs and beliefs, learn what you never knew, and become what you have never been before.
It’s about the pros. Now I will say about the minuses. However much you change, at a deep, very subtle level, you will still feel alienated from the people and the place in which you live. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes there will be times when you will be intolerant to call home.
You are going abroad, and, yes, you have not written on your forehead that you are a stranger. But you did not grow up in a local school. They were brought up in a different culture. So it’s almost impossible to become 100% local.
You will find your new home in a new country, and it will fill the void inside you a little. However, you will always miss your roots and history. You will never be your & quot; 100%, no matter how hard they tried.
That is why almost all the emigrants and nomads whom I met on the road to long years of wandering around the world are asked the same existential questions. Who am I? What culture do I belong to? Where is my house? Where do I want to grow old? In which cemetery do I want to be buried?
These questions can not be answered. They arise again – and again, and again, and again. The feeling of home is something that you inevitably lose when you leave the Motherland. You have to pay for everything.
5. You will lose many dear friends.
Friends probably never thought they might lose you. There are people with whom you are friends from kindergarten or from school. There are those with whom you traveled together in Europe, although growing apart from each other.
But if you want to go to emigrants, go abroad for permanent residence, you should be ready to sacrifice these friendly relations. Of course, in general, you will continue to communicate for a long time, but this can hardly be called friendship.
In this no one is to blame. And at the same time it is everyone’s fault.
You forget about their birthdays, because you are too busy hanging around the city with your new friends.
Old friends will blame you for not being able to get to them at the wedding. They will accuse you of the fact that you rarely visit your parents.
This old friendship will end sooner or later. It’s unavoidable. And this is life. Nobody said it was easy. Having lost friends, you will inevitably lose part of yourself and part of your history.
Do you think it’s worth it? I do not regret that I decided to leave and lead an international, nomadic way of life. Absolutely no regrets. My freedom was definitely worth it.
But I urge you to think before making such serious decisions in your life. Ask questions. Be inquisitive. Try to learn the experience of other emigrants. & quot;
Comments.
Re: The side effects of immigration – discuss personal experience!
Anton, absolutely agree with you.
Therefore, it did not catch, for example, about & quot; about May reptile, all my friends get married, and I’m pancaking somewhere in Indonesia, I’m without money for a trip to America. ”
but any experience is of course important, it was still interesting to read it.
Re: The side effects of immigration – discuss personal experience!
This is a translation as far as I understand, a person by the mentality very far from Russian.
Yes, that’s right, I’ve been following the links. “For the last 10 years, I’ve lived in five different countries,” says Manon de House. We’ll start from the beginning, live for two years in one country, it’s not really an emigration, but rather a journey. Her experience can not be compared with real emigration.
Deep conclusions can be started after 5 years of life in the same place, and as the saying goes, “that Russian is good, then the German & mdash; death & quot ;. It is necessary to look at the experience not only of people with the same mentality, but also with similar status and opportunities, for example, the experience of immigration to Naples 55-year-old woman will be very different from mine.
Re: The side effects of immigration – discuss personal experience!
The letter is clearly a young man (the girl), and I, perhaps, do not attach so much attention to friendly and friendly relations like her. Maybe, already by virtue of age, I consider it important to friends not quantity but quality.


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