I want to leave! As I resigned from the office and left to live in another country.

I want to leave! As I resigned from the office and left to live in another country.

I want to leave! As I resigned from the office and left to live in another country.
To give up everything and leave is the blue dream of any office employee. Leave the hated office, stupid tasks and drive away closer to the sea and the sun. An idea that has been cultivated for years and never has been implemented.
Almost never. I did it. Almost did.
Emotions were many and different. And incredible euphoria and “oh, what have you done?”, And harmony with a calm feeling that it is necessary to live and many more.
For two years after returning from the “office dream” I live in Russia in a tiny town that did not even fit on the map. And only now with full awareness and with a cold heart I am ready to tell you why, where I went and why I returned and what are the real motives for such changes.
I started from a class “A” class office on Kutuzovsky Prospekt straight to China. I did not prepare very much, just went on holiday to Guangzhou and fell ill with the city. Of course, there were financial savings, but they were not needed. The next day, after arriving in China, I managed to triple to work. But that’s not the point.
The most difficult thing in moving was to decide, but, it seems to me, so in everything. And this is precisely the main reason that your dreams are still dreams, and someone else performs them, lives and enjoys them. To implement something global or not, you only need to outline the final goal and take the first step. And then you will not even have time to look back, as you sit in your ears in your dreams.
I took my step into emptiness and circumstances began to line up around me in the best possible way. And, of course, I know examples when people took this very step, and everything turned out very, very bad. And if you ask advice from grandmothers on the porch, they will tell you everything in such colors that you will not want to move from the spot. Find the confirmation that nothing will happen or just do it – choose only you. But, not having begun movement, you 100% will remain on a place.
Life in Guangzhou, in the intervals between homesickness, was cheerful and cloudless. After working for six months in the office, I decided to finally get rid of all the shackles and give up on looking for myself, and at the same time the world to see. Then life turned into a trip to new cities-countries with breaks for a couple of months.
At times it was amazing, the times are fun, at times very sad and melancholy, but overall incredibly energetic and stunning.
The result. Impressions of 100%. The changes are 100%.
Travels change you forever. Your desire to change, to find yourself, to feel who you are and understand, finally, what you really want changes you even more.
So you left to find yourself?
Ha, but here begins the most interesting, frank and something that I do not much want to tell you about. In fact, my motive, like the other 90% of those leaving was completely different. But I did not want to admit it for a very long time. And few people will admit it from emigrants. And even more so, those who sit now in their office are completely unaware of it, they are looking for tours or an islet where one could stay forever.
The truth is that all these people and I, including, just run away. They flee from themselves, from problems, from responsibility, from fears and truth.
It’s much easier to escape to the island than to admit that you’ve been doing it for ten years, not just your business, that you’re just afraid to start doing what you love. After all, it can not work out, can not approve, can laugh. After all, most likely, it is necessary to start all over again and for a while to feel more modestly in expenses, it is necessary to study new and overcome fears and obstacles, for certain, it is necessary to change yourself and your way of life to become more effective. But why, if you can do everything according to the old habit or, better still, throw it all and hide by the sea.
Only now, left alone with him on the journey, there will be no escape, and still all fears and problems will come out, and they will have to face them face to face.
This happened to me. I escaped from unbelief in myself, from resentment towards all men on the planet, from the alien life in which I lived. Well, I flew to myself. And when you are familiar with yourself and your goals and dreams, it does not matter where you live, and there is nothing left but to create yourself further.
What changed life in another country?
On the one hand, everything has changed. On the other hand, I just found myself, I learned to enjoy every moment and set my goals. Well, the one, confident in its unsinkability, the little girl, who bought a ticket to a new life five years ago, has remained somewhere in endless transitions between countries, borders and cities.
I found myself. And then she began to create herself. I understood what I wanted, and stopped the internal accuser myself. I forgave the former love, let go of all the grievances, but most importantly, I forgave myself. I again learned to open my heart to everyone coming into my life and got an unshakable positive outlook on life.
At some point in time, as simple and obvious as when I was going to go to China, I realized that it was time to return. But that’s another story …


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